It may seem obvious to some that if you get burned by fire then you are cautious around the stove. But in some instances traumatic events, like having a gas stove flare up in your face as a child and your hair catch on fire and think that you could die, can lead to a greater fear – a terror (in this example a terror of gas stoves and one’s death). Many people carry such terror related to life events and fear of their death. They have developed strategies to deal with this fear that can be called Terror Management (see work done by a Skidmore College professor, Dr. Sheldon Solomon). This blog will be updated with a new posting – The Suffocation of Terror – containing more information about terror management and its importance not only for trauma recovery but also for the development of compassion. How much of a gap in time before the next post depends on my recovery process. I would like the writing to reflect that, rather than the feelings that there is no place safe and that I am not heard.
Grief, loss, pain, chronic illness, can all be met with grace if we can find compassionate support through the process of healing. When this is removed, replaced with terror at the hands of those from whom we seek healing support, then the whole healing environment collapse in on itself. We are then left adrift with our wounds, questioning our own sensibility, and feeling suffocated by the collapse and terror left in its wake.