Month: September 2018

My second column with the Parkinson’s newsletter is now published.  It takes courage for me to write these, to put myself and these new ideas out there in front of the public.  What helped was something small, a hand written note from a supporter of my geology research, which simply said, “Don’t give up.”  

I am hopeful that the columns will find interest, and not receive attack. There is so much bullying on the internet, and this was behind my fear in doing the column.  But then I heard the words, “Don’t give up.”  I decided then to write the column.

The second column follows on what was proposed in the first column – present reframing of concepts in a new light.  This is a reflection of my training as a scientist and philosopher.  The column is also presented in lay language with art work (by the author).  This is the other half of my training as educator and writer.  As often as possible, the columns will contain this Libra scale balancing scientific theory and public education.

Despite all the training, it still took courage to post the columns online.  Fear of rejection is my top emotional button.  This is tied back to childhood, and even in my 60’s it is still a nagging voice that never completely goes away.  It was a voice that seemed louder in the face of recent life drama.  Part of the solution is found with the courage of those three little words, “Don’t give up.” The other part is to Get Up, Show Up, and Act all with a sense of lightness.

Since the last blog I have been on a personal healing journey.  I have never been one to have PTSD like symptoms – even after Vietnam and some very challenging life events.  The past year pushed me in that direction. I became afraid to do anything, terrorized. In order to find my way around that I had to face the causes of the terror and see if I could change them.  Only now, more than a year after all the difficulties began, can I say that I am healing and moving forward to a better place.

Life can show it’s silver lining if your head is lifted out of the mud and turned to the light.  Fortunately I have been in this situation before, and I know what it feels like to move from the darkness of being stuck/trapped and into the light of having a solution.  It feels even better when that solution is put in place and starts to show progress.  For me the progress is having my own weekly column in an online newspaper.  The link to the first column is here:

DrC’c Journey with Parkinson’s Disease

This column would not have happened without the trauma.  It pushed me to reach out and speak about the problems I have run into over the past decade and especially over the last year.

The column will focus on my experiences and information I hope will be of benefit to others.  The column will not have personal rants about the inadequacy of care from this agency or that doctor.  I’ll do that here (although I did write to my senator about a specific problem that needed to be fixed within the VA care system).  Having the column gives me a way to continue to teach, and to share ideas about the path to well being and self discovery.

It was a hard journey to get from feeling suffocated to breathing normal again. Life is like putting in a flower garden where none has been before – one step at a time:

1) Remove the obstacles (rocks, weeds)

2) Build a solid foundation that will last (put in good soil)

3) Prevent the problems from returning (weed control edging)

4) Focus on the bliss of life (plant beautiful flowers)

5) Apply care daily with peace and meditation.

 

In a new home now that came with no gardens, but plenty of room to make them.  My soul also has plenty of room for cultivating peace and purpose.